What can cause unhappiness or depression?.
This is my experience and cure
I had depression most of my life up to age 43 and I am age 49 now. I can categorically say with total confidence it all went when I stopped being in conflict with myself.and being my authentic self or finding what I like and being true to myself.
I changed just two core aspects and I was cured almost instantly, but yours might well be totally different, so you must be heroically and brutally honest with yourself and the answers will be revealed. However, some of it was also helped by watching a great film called “The Secret ” it was made around the foundations of a book by Wallace D wattles 120 years ago. So go get that video the Secret from amazon The Secret DVD at Amazon
here my 2 fixes but my grandfather once told me these wise words ” always be true to YOURSELF ” . Unfortunately it took me 35 years to work out what he meant. He actually meant it is important to be authentic to what YOUR needs are and to hell with what you think the outer world says you should be like. Then your real self shines and comes alive, be you a Bill Gate or a sex worker like me.
1 I was in conflict about my sexuality so I fixed that and embraced that I am bisexual. That made a massive improvement by at least 50% . my inner conflict melted. it was very tangible and others noticed my improvement. over time..
2 I was in conflict with the job/ career I hated over the last 30 odd years. I hated it to the point I wanted to die I felt so trapped. So I changed my job to something I love, it paid less but I was happy , it was so rewarding, and that fixed the rest of it. I lost a marriage but it was crappy anyway so it was all good.
Simples ! as the saying goes, I love simple fixes as I am an engineer.
So from my personal life experience, I have discovered that inner conflict is the root of my depression and my life’s mistake was to go along with my perceived peer group pressure and foolishly go along with what I thought society thought I should do and be like. This is well known in psychology that inner conflict is massive. However few people are brave enough to metaphorically rip the plaster off and start again late in life. I found that when you hit rock bottom in life ( excuse the pun ) you can only go up or exit badly. So since exit badly was a waste and darn tricky to kill myself I opted to radically change my life. Hey I thought, what have I got to lose,and it worked a treat. Would not change it for the world.
You know what job I do . My job is a little more unusual but I would rather live life to my fullest and take the bull by its horns and Choose MY Life., Its On My terms now. Depression can be caused by chemical issues but it is also caused by inner conflict and your OWN inner worry of outside peer pressure. The worry of how you should think or behave. blocks you from being your authentic self and your inner happy child cries for being free. so to hell with what others think
Funny thing is, In the end, nobody cares one hoot what you do. Fear blocks your mind and what others in your family might think or you might even lose family. Well, I would have lost all family if I ended it so when I took the positive leap everyone supported me anyway since it was up to me to carve out MY life and then others saw my commitment and tenacity and success and blatant happiness. I think my tenacity was driven by my opposing desire to not kill my self just yet, and change my life for the better..Its not for all but it is for me.
I would suggest regardless of what your earning to seriously look and ensure that whatever job you do, that it’s one you LOVE. The long term aims for a career or self-employment as I did is to find one you love it so much you would probably do it free if bills were not an issue.
Consider downgrade of your lifestyle /bills if it pays less, it’s well worth it since when your happy you think better and you earn more eventually with a happy outlook . If you’re not ready yet then work out a long term exit strategy out of your job or career or even lifestyle friends or family if they are not constructive. Fortunately, my family were ok, It was me who was in conflict and not them.
That was what I did. Find your passion and live life fully. Life is shorter than you think so go for it !. Not for others not for parents, not for friends but choose YOUR LIFE. Remember you can only help others when you’re helped and afloat and strong. Avoid supporting others if your crashing and be kind to your inner voice that is probably telling you what just YOU should do.
When your inner self is no longer deeply unhappy, then you naturally gravitate to the natural state you were as a child without a care in the world. .You become happy joyous an free and others see it in you..Others then gravitate towards you because they see you are happy and no longer in conflict.
It takes heroic strength but less strength than ending it .So try this 1st before taking the other route and you will be wondering why you had not done it years ago.
One other thing to make a quick fix and long term fix is this fantastic easy trick I learnt from ” The secret”
Saturate yourr mind with gratitude every moment of your life, Consciously look for all the things you are grateful for , supersaturate you mind with the small things of gratitude 1st. then eventually group 10 of these gratitude things in to BIG single emotional FEELING of gratitude. You see feelings are what the brain runs off outside of unnatural languages of words , be it negative or positive. They are giant chunks of stuff and can be good and bad .but humans have a habit of looking at the BROWN in life, the crap so to speak. TV and newspapers make good use/profit of this misery/negativity. So stop watching negative stuff, there is a tsunami of it bad news and fear mongering you can drown in it. . remember “living kills ya and rich or poor we all go down the same tube so live life to YOUR full authentic version of it.
So now you have created your chunks of gratitude as emotions , when you need to feel good you can just feel one of those chunks of gratitude emotions and that e-motion ( Energy -In motion) in you comes out as an inner feeling of lightness and joy.. You will notice in a few days and months you feel a distinct dissolving of “captain negative” as I call it . It gradually shrivels up like a prune in you . But you must keep at it like you would keep training a dog and use that time and respite to change your life.
Good luck . Ross